Here we go again!
Making me eat the sticky,
sweet substance,
honey.
I know I am supposed to love this crap,
but in reality I despise it!
I would rather roast my “friend”
Piglet over an open fire.
Can’t you just imagine
little Piglet all scared!
Screaming out loud
for someone to save him
from the open flames.
But man,
would he make a great
pork bar-b-que sandwich!
Cook him till he
falls off the bone,
slather on the sauce,
and what the heck…
steal some of Rabbit’s
perfectly grown yellow corn
to make some cornbread!
I know people want to cuddle with me,
but really I am
not that lovable.
I am an evil,
devious,
stealing bear.
That will bite your head off
if you try to give me honey!
By Elizabeth Harvey
I like how you took the cuddly character that everyone loves and knows from their childhood and switch him to be more of an evil, devious character. The idea of Pooh Bear wanting to roast and eat his friends is sad but I love it here. You make a character that I feel like I always just want to go up and hug evil but it is funny the way you do it. It really works. I agree with Chelsea that it might make your poem stronger to elaborate more about his past.
I think you did a great job with this- I like how you twisted the character of Winnie to be something completely different than what anyone would expect. Your description of the bbq sandwich was very vivid, and I like how you address that most people want to cuddle with him. I think that you could go into a little more detail after he says “I am an evil, devious, stealing bear.” Instead of telling us these things, perhaps show how he is mischievous and steals. One other thing is that I’m not sure about all of the exclamation marks– I can see how it adds to his voice being very energetic, but since you are portraying him as “evil,” I might use different punctuation.
This. This is so hilarious and creative! I love the two lines “I would rather roast my ‘friend’/ Piglet over an open fire,” it’s absolutely unexpected and absolutely fantastic. I think that you could make it stronger by changing a few of the lines in the end where Pooh is saying he’s “an evil, devious, stealing bear,” by describing how exactly he’s evil (maybe instead, use some of those concrete nouns like Prof. Earnhart was talking about in place of these abstract ones you’ve got now) and how exactly he’s devious, etc.
I like this because it’s such a large contrast to the children’s story. To make this piece even stronger I think you should elaborate more and place Winnie the Pooh in a different setting or maybe explain more of his past in order to allow the reader to understand why he is stuck in his current predicament.